Dear Mommy
by Sarah36396
Summary: This is now a stand alone story and it is being updated daily. Natasha Romanoff leaves a son behind who wishes he could meet his mom. He knows he can't,so he begins to write her letters. Little does he know his world is about to be changed.
1. Your son

**This is now its own story and does not have anything to do with the Hunter's Prey. Chapter 2 is on its way. The story will be developed through a series of letters and eventually dialogue between characters. **

Dear mommy,

You don't know me, but that isn't your fault. Daddy says you would be here if you could,but he also says we don't always get what we want in life. He talks about you a lot and he tells lots of stories so I know you, but you don't have anyone to tell you stories. I am writing you because I want you to know me!

My name is Nathan Tobias Barton. I am eight years old and I'm in 5th grade! Everyone says I am really smart, but I just think the work is easy. Daddy says I get my brain from you and that I am very lucky. I am really tall for my age(daddy still makes fun of you for being short) and people say I look like you even though I have blond hair. I have a bunch of freckles because I am outside with daddy a lot. I am pretty quiet so I don't have a lot of friends, but daddy says that is ok because you didn't have a lot of friends either.

My best friend is Hanley, Uncle Steve's son. We play together a lot and daddy has been teaching us how to spar. Sometimes Patrick will play with us too, but he can be annoying, just like Uncle Tony! I still like him though. Out favorite game to play is super hereos. We have to pick a person to be and we try to save the world. I always pick you, even though you were a girl. I just make you cooler by being a boy! Daddy says you were the best spy in the world and I believe him.

I guess I am a good boy. I try to stay out of trouble and I don't get into trouble a lot, but daddy still does! Pepper says that it is because you aren't around to keep him in line. That always makes me laugh! The last time I got in trouble was for talking back to Fury, but he just wouldn't be quiet! Daddy laughed when I asked him to please shut up. He said I was definitely your son. That made me happy.

There is a lot I want to tell you, but it is hard to think of it all right now. I wish I could spend a day talking to you, that would be a lot easier. But I know that can't happen...It makes daddy sad when I say stuff like that. He tells me I am wise beyond me years a lot, but he always looks sad when he says it. I know you probably worry about daddy, but he is ok. He still loves you, you know? We spend a lot of time talking about you. I know he misses you.

I miss you too mommy. I wish you were here with us every day. I wish you could give me hugs and kisses. I wish you could tuck me in at night. Knowing that you cant makes me sad sometimes, but daddy always makes me feel better even though he will cry too.

I don't know how, but daddy says that one day we will all be together again. I guess I will understand when I am older, but until then I will just keep missing you. I hope you are having fun where ever you are. Oh, and one last thing: I love you mommy.

Your son,

Nathan


	2. I love you

**More chapters to come! Thanks for reading and please drop a review. As a side note, a lot of the incorrect english is intentional- this is supposed to be from an 8 year old.**

Dear mommy,

I am sorry I didn't get to write you last week. I have been writing you a letter every week, but daddy and I have been really busy. We moved into the country a few days ago! Daddy said I was getting too big to be cramped up in the city so we bought a big house in the middle of no where. The are a lot of animals on the land, like sheep and cows. We even have a horse! His name is Scruffy. I'll tell you about him later.

Daddy let me choose my room in this house! I've never got to pick my room before. I chose a big one that has lots of room for my stuff. The walls have a bunch of cartoon and comic book characters drawn on them and there is a train that runs around the shelves near the ceiling! My favorite part is my bed, I think. Daddy made it out of a really old truck. My bed is in the back part and I can get into the drivers seat and play! I like to pretend that I am on a high speed chase, just like you or daddy!

I helped daddy unpack his things this weekend and he had a lot of pictures I hadn't seen before. There were some of Uncle Steve, Tony and Pepper, and even a few of Thor! But most of them were of you and daddy. I guess I was in a few, but I was in your tummy...does that count? Daddy gave me a picture of you from when you were pregnant. You had your hand on your tummy and you looked really happy. I like to look at it before I go to bed. I think it helps me sleep at night.

Mommy, did you ever ride a horse? We have a really cool horse named Scruffy! He is taller than me and has a shaggy brown coat. His eyes are blue and it looks like he is wearing socks on his feet! Daddy is teaching me how to ride and take care of him. It is a lot of work, but I like it. Whenever I go out to his pasture he will play tag with me. We will chase each other around until we are both tired. So far I have only walked him, but one day daddy says I will be able to run him.

I still play with Hanley and Patrick, but we have a lot of room to play now! We can go into the wood and hide in trees and pretend we are spies, or we can play stake out in the barn. We still play super hero a lot, but our second favorite game is riding the sheep. It is really hard to hold on when they start running. One time I fell off into a mud puddle!

It is almost time for me to feed Scruffy, so I guess I need to finish writing this. I still miss you mommy, and so does daddy. We both wish you were here. I know it is silly, but I wish I could meet you one day. I guess that will never happen though.

I love you,

Nathan


	3. Are you proud of me?

Dear Mommy,

Happy birthday! It was your birthday yesterday! Me and daddy made a huge cake and we ate it all by ourselves. It made us sick, but it was a lot of fun. We rented the Incredibles and watched it together while daddy told my stories about you. He told me about how you met him while he was on a mission. He said that you used to be one of the bad guys, but it wasn't your fault. He said that he saved you and you became a good guy. I think it is funny that you didn't like daddy at first. He must've been really annoying huh?

You want to know what annoying is? My new english class! They put me in it because I am smarter than the other kids in my class. They make us use big words and write better sentences. Most of the kids are older than I am and they pick on me. A few days ago a really ugly kid saw me writing you a letter. He picked it up and tore it into pieces and then called me a sissy, but he was the one crying like a sissy when I punched him in the nose. Daddy said he was proud of me.

Me and Hanley have been going through a training camp at the base this week. He is stronger, but I am faster and more agile, just like you and daddy! Our trainer thinks that I would make a really good spy, but daddy says I'm still too little. Daddy is going to teach me how to use a bow though! Hanley is jealous because he is big and tough, like Steve. We make pretty good team though.

Something big has been going on around the base lately. Daddy keeps getting called in and we are spending a lot of time there. Nobody will tell me what is happening, but everyone seems tense, even daddy. Sometimes he will look really excited but other times he looks really sad. Maybe he just misses going on missions. Don't worry about him though. I'll take care of him just like he takes care of me when I am sad.

I wonder if you would be proud of me mommy? I wonder if you would like me? Would you want me to be training or would you worry like Aunt Pepper? I worry about these things sometimes. I want you to be proud of me even though you aren't here. I told daddy that once and he just hugged me and promised me that you would be really proud. I hope that he is right.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if you were here with us. Would we play together a lot or would you be busy? I would want you to tuck me in at night and tell me that you loved me. We could watch movies together and play games(I bet you could beat daddy!). I could show you how to ride Scruffy and we could ride together!...but it can't happen, can it? I love you though. I miss you.

Are you proud of me?

Nathan


	4. I'm scared

Dear Mommy,

I am writing this from Hanley's house. I have been staying with him all week. Steve and Peggy are taking really good care of me, but Peggy is kinda weird. She isn't old, but sometimes she will act like the people in old movies. Daddy said that she has some kind of special DNA or something but it didn't really make sense.

Me and Hanley have been having a lot of fun together! He has a big back yard and we've been playing with Bucky a lot. Bucky is a big brown dog that has floppy ears and a long tail. I think his favorite thing to do is chew Hanley's shoes! He is a lot of fun to play with. We can chase him around or sit on his back, but we can't ride him like we ride Scruffy...I really miss Scruffy. I miss daddy even more.

Hanley finally got an xbox like mine for his birthday! He isn't as good as me, but me and daddy have had lots of practice! We have a lot of fun playing together. My favorite game is the Sims! You get to make your own person and do whatever you want! One of my guys is a really rich farmer. He races horses and has a huge barn of his own. But my main guy is me. I made our family, or at least the family I wished we had. Me, you and daddy all live in a big house together. You are with us all the time, just like I want you to be...

I really miss you and daddy right now. Daddy had to stay on base this week and I only get to talk to him on the phone. He says he misses me too, but he can't tell me what is going on. The base is on some kind of alert I guess. Hanley and me haven't got to go to training all week! It isn't fair because I want to practice so I can be as good as you and daddy!

It is raining outside today. Do you like the rain? I love the rain! Me and Hanley played in the rain with Bucky this afternoon. We got really muddy but Peggy was ok with it. She made us take a bath and then made us lunch. Every night she has been tucking us in and it makes me sad because I wish it was you. I told her that and she gave me a hug. She said that it was ok to be sad and that you wished you were here too. Is that true? Do you wish you were here?

I really miss you after staying with Hanley. I think it is because I got to see what a mom does. I really wish you were here with me. How come you had to leave us? Daddy won't tell me what happened because I am a kid. I hope he tells me soon though. And I hope he comes home soon. What if something happens and he doesn't come back? Then no one will be left to love me.

I'm scared,

Nathan


	5. Is it my fault?

**You guys get an extra chapter today since I will not have internet over the weekend. It would be awesome if you could drop a review! I love the feedback.**

Dear Mommy,

Daddy finally came home yesterday! He looked really tired, but he seemed excited about something. Every time I ask him what he is happy about he just shakes his heads,smiles, and tells me to wait. I am really good at waiting on things, but I want to know what is going on!

I had a dream about you a few days ago. We were in a big lab and you were there. Me and daddy were really happy to see you and you were happy because you got to meet me. You even gave me a big hug. The dream made me really happy and really sad at the same time. I didn't tell daddy about this dream because it would make him sad.

Today is my birthday, but maybe you already know that! I don't really feel any older, but I do feel sad. This is another year that I'll spend without a mommy. Daddy and me will probably watch a move together and eat cake, but I would rather be by myself today. I know you aren't supposed to tell anyone, but my birthday wish is that-

.

.

.

"Hey buddy." Clint poked his head into his son's room and smiled. "Whatcha up to?" He asked as he watched his son. He was bent over his desk, pencil in hand and a look of concentration on his face.

"Writing a letter." Nathan sat the pencil down and turned around to face him. "To mommy."

"Ah,that time of the week huh?" Clint forced a smile. Nathan had been writing Natasha letters for the last several months. Although it made him happy to see his son trying to reach his mother, it also broke his heart to see his son struggle to accept life without a mom.

"Yep." Nathan crossed the room and hugged Clint's waist. "I love you."

"I love you more." Clint laid his hand on the boy's head with a smile. "Could you finish that letter? I need to run to the base and I want you to go with me."

"Really?" Nathan grinned.

"Really. Come on, let's get out of here."

.

.

.

"Come here bud." Clint sat down in one of the chairs that was lined up against the wall. Nathan climbed into his lap and Clint sighed as he thought about how big his son had gotten.

"Why are we in the medical wing? Are you sick?" Nathan frowned.

"No. We are here because...well, I want to tell you a story first."

"What kind of story"? Nathan tilted his head, his eyes shining with interest.

"I am going to tell you what happened to mommy. I want you to understand a few things before I explain why we are here."

"You're really going to tell me?" Nathan looked up at his dad, a look of awe on his face.

"Yeah, I am really going to tell you." Clint took a long look at his son as he recalled every detail of his life. "When mommy was pregnant with you she got sick a lot. We never understand why and neither did the doctors. They guessed that it had something to do with the fact that her body wasn't designed to carry a baby. They told her that she shouldn't have you because it would make her very sick, but she ignored them of course. That is how your mom rolled. Sure enough she began to get really sick, but she was happy through it all. She couldn't wait to meet you...she was happier than she had ever been." Clint smiled as he recalled memories from her pregnancy. There had been a whole other side to Natasha that he had gotten to see;a side that wasn't concerned about saving the world. It was a side that was concerned with being a mother.

"And then it was time for you to be born. We were both really excited, but then something went wrong. Mommy got very, very sick. I...I thought I was going to lose both of you." Clint swallowed and hugged Nathan to his chest.

"So how come I am here and mommy's not?" Nathan asked in a small voice.

"Because the doctors were able to save you."

"What about mommy?"

"They weren't going to be able to save her in time, so we made a big decision. She didn't want to die, she wanted to see you grow up. She wanted to be here. And I wasn't ready to let her go. So together we decided to try out a new experiment that SHIELD has been working on. The doctors injected her with a serum that froze her body in time. She couldn't die...but she couldn't live either..." Clint paused as he let that sink in.

"So mommy is alive? Well, kinda alive?" Nathan looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Technically yes, but she wasn't. The doctors were able to fix her body so she would get better, but something went wrong with the reversing agent. It wouldn't work on her, so she was stuck in time."

"So it is my fault mommy isn't here." Nathan hung his head.

"No. Not at all buddy. Mommy knew what could happen and she chose to take a chance."

"How come you don't hate me for taking mommy from you?" A big tear rolled down the boys cheek and Clint felt his heart clench.

"Nathan, I will never hate you. Never. You hear me? I love you more than anything on this earth. If I could go back I would do it all over again, and I know your mom would too. None of this is your fault. You know I love you, right?" Clint tilted the boys chin up and wiped the tears away. "I love you more than you will ever know."

"I love you too." Nathan hugged his dad tightly, blinking away his tears. "I'm glad you're my daddy."

"And I'm glad you're my son." Clint ruffled the boys hair. "But I didn't tell you that story to make you sad. I told you that story so that you will understand what I am about to tell you...the doctors fixed the reversing agent yesterday."

"What's that mean?" Nathan's forehead wrinkled.

"It means mommy is alive."


	6. Dear Mommy

Natasha sat alone on a medical table with her head in hers hands as she thought about what the doctors had just told her. She had been out for eight years. Eight years! For eight years she didn't exist, didn't breath, didn't move. The doctors had offered an explanation but she hadn't been paying that much attention. She remembered what had happened all too well. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the questions burning in her mind; had her baby lived? Was Clint ok? Had he moved on? Did he even care?

Her head snapped up as the doors hissed as they slowly slid open. An all too familiar face was staring at her from the door, a look of awe and love on his face. Natasha forced a weak smile and stood up, holding the table for support. She wanted to run across the floor and hug him, but she was afraid things had changed.

"Hey there,"he said, his eyes running over her entire body. She was standing, she was breathing! She was alive! He could hug her, kiss her, hold her; he had thought he had lost all that.

"Clint." She didn't bother to hold back her tears as he crossed the room and pulled her into his embrace. His arms wrapped around her in a secure hug and he buried his face in her hair. "You're here." She said in a shaky voice.

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?" He put some space between them so he could look down at her face, but he didn't let her go.

"I don't know. Eight years is a long time..."

"Yeah, it is. But I never stopped loving you. Not even for a minute." He smiled and kissed her lightly. "How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly tired," she frowned. "Like I've had a really bad nights sleep. How have you been?"

"Busy, but good. I've just missed you." He gave her a squeeze.

"I would say I've missed you, but I do not really remember anything after...that is the last day I remember. Clint, did-"

"Yeah, he did."

"He?" Natasha bit her lip, imagining a blond haired, blue eyed child that looked a lot like his father.

"Yeah, he."

"What did you name him?"

"Nathan Tobias." Clint shrugged sheepishly. "I thought it sounded good."

"It sounds perfect." Natasha sighed as she laid her head against his chest. "Does he know?"

"I just told him this morning..."

"Where is he now?" Natasha had the sudden desire to meet her son. Her son...she liked the sound of that. She had never imagined that she would have a son and now that she did she wanted to know him.

"Outside annoying Fury. I have so many stories I could tell you- that boy is definitely yours." Clint chuckled.

"That is good to know," she laughed softly. "What does he think about all of this?" Her tone turned serious and she frowned. It had only taken her a few moments to think about the fact that the boy could hate her; she hadn't been there for him at all. Clint recognized the look of fear on her face so he smiled and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a stack of envelopes and handed them to her.

"He has been writing you for the last several months Nat. He wants to know you. He was never angry or resentful, just sad that he never got the chance to meet you. Why don't you read these and then I'll bring him in."

Natasha nodded and sat down on the medical table, smiling as Clint sat beside her. Her hands trembled slightly as she picked up the first envelope, staring at the scrawled name in the corner. "Nathan." She murmured slightly, running her finger over the name before carefully pulling the top open. She pulled the letter and unfolded it, her eyes running over the neat and tiny writing that covered the page. She took a deep breath and swallowed, and then she began to read.

"Dear mommy, you don't know me, but that isn't your fault..."


	7. As a family

"Can I go in yet?" Nathan asked with a frown, squirming in his seat. Nick Fury and the boy were seated outside the medical wing, waiting for Clint to return from visiting Natasha.

"No." Nick gave the boy a hard look. "How many times are you going to ask me that?"

"Until you say yes." Nathan grinned at the older man, knowing that he was beginning to get on his nerves. Most people were afraid of the one eyed man, but Nathan found that he was fun to tease.

"You are your mother's son." Nick rolled his eyes. "You can go in whenever you father comes out and gets you, understood?"

"Fine," Nathan sulked, slinking down in his seat. Nick couldn't help but feel a touch of compassion for the boy; he knew he was dying to meet his mother and Nick couldn't blame him for that.

"Let's do something to pass the time. It will help to have a distraction."

"What are we gonna do?" Nathan perked up bit, his eyes trained on the older man.

"We could practice your math?" Nick frowned. He was't very good with kids, but he blamed that on the lack of contact with them. He had acted put out when Clint asked him to keep an eye on Nathan, but he had a soft spot for the boy; he was exceptionally bright and was a quick learner. In truth he was the perfect mixture of his parents. He had Natasha's sass and wit, and Clint's sharp mind and intense focus.

"Sure, why not. That sounds so exciting." Nathan rolled his eye.

"What's two plus two?"

"Four."

"Four plus four?"

"Eight."

"Eight plus-"

"Sixteen. I'm not in first grade you know!" Nathan crossed his arms and raised his eye brows.

"Fine, you little turd. A man throws a child out the window. The child traveled ten meters in three seconds. What was his acceleration?" Nick narrowed his eyes. "Answer that you little smart ass."

"Three point three three thee..." Nathan smiled slowly.

"There is no way you know that kind of math!"

"He heard me answer that question last week when I asked him the same thing," Clint smirked from the door way. "Giving the Director a hard time?"

"Yep." Nathan grinned at him.

"That's my boy." Clint chuckled, crossing the room and ruffling his hair.

"Barton, is there a reason you have instructed your son to act like a smart ass? Or does it just come naturally to him?"

"Like father like son, right?" Clint grinned and crossed the room, ruffling the boys hair.

"I am going to reassign you to some little island in the middle of no where. An island without plumbing or technology."

"I'm inactive right now." Clint reminded him with a grin.

"Get your devil spawn and get out of here," Nick muttered.

"Do I get to go in now daddy?" All of Nathan's attitude demenished as he turned his eyes to his father.

"Yeah, you get to go in now. Go wait for me by the doors, ok?"

"Kay." He grinned and darted across the room, leaving the two men alone.

"How is she?" Nick turned his attention to Clint.

"Very good. She isn't having any problems and she still remembers everything up to the point where she went out."

"Good. I don't want to see you around here for a long while once she goes home. You need to become a family."

"We are a family, director." Clint smiled. "Thanks for watching Nathan."

"Whatever. Go on and get out of here."

"Yes sir!"

. . . .

Natasha stood with her back to the door, still looking over the letters that she had spread out the table. A smile was playing at her lips although her face was damp. Her son was better than anything she could have imagined. He was clever, witty, and in tune with his emotions-something that she had always struggled with. It made her happy to see that he was a happy little boy, although he missed her. After reading his letters Natasha found herself missing him, even though they had never met. Just a few letters had connected her to her son in a way that made her long to be a mother.

"Hey, Nat." Clint cleared his throat from somewhere behind her. Natasha took a deep breath as she tried to prepare herself; this was the first time she would ever lay eyes on her son. She turned around and laid eyes on the boy, her heart race increasing. He was tall and lean, much like his father. His hair was blond and cut similar to Clint's, but Natasha could see a bit of curl at the ends. His eyes were identical to Natasha's and he was biting his lip in the exact same spot that she did when she was nervous.

"Hey there." Natasha smiled softly, her heart melting. There was no question that he was her son and she loved him-she wasn't sure how since she didn't know him, but she knew that she loved him.

"Hi,"he said bashfully, standing partially behind his father.

"You must be Nathan." Natasha crouched down so that she was more level with him. "I am-"

"I know who you are." He took a step forward. "You're Natasha. You are my mom."

"Yeah, I am your mom." She managed a shaky smile. "Nathan, I am sorry I wasn't-" Her sentence was cut off as Nathan bound forward and hugged her, his arms wrapping around her neck. Natasha instinctively hugged him back, pulling him close to her chest. She pressed her face to his hair, trying to fight back the tears; she was holding her son.

Nathan was softly crying into her chest, his tears wetting the front of her shirt. Natasha held him and stroked his head, her fingers running through his hair, as she silently comforted him. To Clint it looked as of the pair had never been apart and it brought tears to his eyes to see them united at last.

"I love you." Nathan finally managed, wiping his eyes. "I hope you love me."

"Of course I love you." Natasha smiled as she caught Clint's eye. "Now unless there are any objections, I think I am ready to go home...as a family."


End file.
